this dream, twenty years ago.

I went through my dream journal and then all of the sudden I just remembered a dream from so long time ago. Dreams are very important to me, I document it the first thing in the morning. I crave for it. It liberates me. I remembered the night I figured out how to lucid dream and control what happens in it. It was one of my most blissful milestone in my life. Anyways, this dream occurred when I was maybe eight. I was so excited to return to school, to see my friends again after a summer full of family stuff. This dream was somehow eerie but I couldn't interpret it well when I was at that age.

8 year old Clara: I missed Leila so much, I was really more than ready to see her again tomorrow. I am hoping to invite her to Alameda county fair this year. I love state fairs because it has so much colors and rides.


---------dream. was it a dream?


Smoky clouds hovered over me and I checked to see if I was wearing my favorite ruby slippers and I was. The ground was little murky and brownish. Worried that those slippers would get dirty, I took it off. Then there was light. Yes, a light! Finally, I will have help. Someone to wash my slippers. When I looked up and I saw an entrance sign with clown and its mouth wide open. (I couldn't find any reason why I wasn't startled by the creepiness of this situation at that age. But now, I completely understand myself- I love creepy!) I felt inviting so I walked inside while carrying my red slippers because there was a hint of uncertain. There Leila was! I got so excited, my heart leaped and I skipped with my already-really-dirty socks. Leila pointed her fingers to the most highest ride and we both joined each other in our arms. We skipped towards the ferry wheel, our dresses swaying with innocence. Then the thunder boomed and rain drilled in with anger. Leila frantically pointed at the empty seat then we both quickly got on it. The booth served as a shelter for us and magically the ride started to operate. Me and my curious self wanted to see who was operating the ride so I peered up searching for the control booth. There was nobody pushing the buttons and pulling levers, it was all empty in the booth. The button light flashed up and levers were magically pulling itself. Leila tapped on my shoulder with concerned look on her face however there was slight curiosity. She then pointed at what is coming up in front of us. It was a clown- a scary looking one. Just the face of it with enormous great white shark-like jaw--it was opening and closing its own jaws at random pace. Chomp...chomp...chomp, Leila and I grabbed each other and kept ourselves low. At this point of my dream I am confident that I kept my eyes closed.

and of course, I woke up.


good to be back with writing. I'll be doing things differently for this blog. And its OCTOBER. I'll write about some really dark stuff :)